a cautionary tale

Caution: do not swallow chewing gum before an aerobics class...

Contemporary art goes down the gurgler

"I Give You All My Money" by Scottish Artist Cathy Wilkes

A naked mannequin draped in horsehoes sitting on a toilet is one of several art works nominated for Britain's Turner Prize this year. Scotland-based Cathy Wilkes, who has also positioned a mannequin with her head in a bird cage in the work, is one of four artists nominated for contemporary art's most prestigious prize at London's Tate Britain museum. Brisbane Times

Photos: the nominees

Also on display are old porridge bowls and a clip from The Simpsons cartoon. There is sculpture, installations and film – but no figurative painting. What would the great Joseph Mallord William Turner (for whom the prize is named) have thought? Very little one would imagine; he's likely to be furiously turning in his grave. The Turner Prize has established a reputation for pushing the boundaries and usually manages to spawn outrage and debate on what constitutes art. The questionable merits of this year's nominees beg a larger question: is this the end of Western Art?

Over the last 20 to 30 years, western modern art has become increasingly obscure and inaccessible. It has seemed to deliberately alienate the general public and to become increasingly elitist. Only an exclusive circle of dilettantes pretend to understand what the contemporary art scene is all about and it has become all but irrelevant to the average person.

After the second world war, the old order having ground itself into the ground due to the ravages of two world wars, the epicentre of the 'art scene' moved from Paris to New York. Abstract Expressionism established itself as the new cutting edge with artists like Pollock, Rothko and De Kooning the new messiahs. This change coincided with the establishment of America as the new super power.

Due to the current economic crisis, America now stands to fall off the pedestal as a super power. Just as China seems set to assume the mantle as the new super power, an explosion in creative energy has come from the Chinese contemporary arts after years of isolation. The centre of creative innovation is shifting inexorably eastwards.

Works like Wilkes "I Give You All My Money" can hardly even claim to be original; Marcel Duchamp exhibited a toilet bowl (Fountain) as early as 1917. A naked mannequin on a toilet is a fitting death knell for western contemporary art.

Men on a leash: reverse sexism?

Several years ago a passing trend emerged in advertising; using sexualised images of men. In 2002, Voodoo produced an ad featuring a woman in a mini-skirt "walking" two naked men wearing collars - an image strangely prescient of the prison abuse images which have come out of Iraq. Is there such thing as reverse sexism? Who cares, as long as it creates a controversy that generates sales.

Voodoo's "men-on-leash" ad generated about 60 complaints to the Advertising Standards Bureau. All were dismissed. The ABS apparently appreciated the humour, reasoning: "This ad clearly intends to depict a tongue-in-cheek view of the well accepted right of a woman to be in control of her choices and her 'accessories'."

Censors in England were not so open minded. A very similar ad showed Jerry Hall holding men on a leash with the tagline: "Twelve get trained, only one gets kept". The ad was banned by London Underground Rail on grounds that it "breaches our advertising code relating to the depiction of men, women and children as sexual objects." A series of bans also saw the ad removed from television.

The fact that this kind of ad was only a passing fad indicates that they do not resonate with women and are not effective advertising. In fact, they probably attract more of a response from men. Is this kind of image offensive and exploitative? Clearly advertisers could not get away with using women in the same way. An image of a man walking naked women on a leash would certainly create an outcry. However, considering the rarity of this kind of image in mainstream advertising, they can be seen as redressing the imbalance to some extent.

There is never a shortage of advertising using exploitative images of women. Putting the boot on the other foot certainly makes commuting a great deal more interesting.

Palin: a pit bull in a bikini

Of course this photo of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has been digitally altered, but it does outline what she stands for to at least some extent. Fake bikini pics of Sarah seem to be all the rage at the moment. Her popularity as an object of desire has been compared to that of ex British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Many of 'the iron maiden's' political colleagues expressed that they thought Maggie was a nice piece of crumpet. Her one-time junior minister, the late philanderer and diarist Alan Clark, was an admirer of Thatcher's "pretty ankles", Francois Mitterand described Thatcher as having "the eyes of Caligula and the voice of Marilyn Monroe" and Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi called her "una bella gnoccha"; roughly translated, it means "a nice piece of pussy". Does the attraction to strong and powerful women indicate a desire to be dominated in otherwise ultra conservative men? The intricacies of the conservative psyche are probably too distasteful to dwell on in any depth, but Sarah Palin has certainly made a splash and is rapidly attaining 'sex symbol' status.

By choosing Palin as a running mate, John McCain has truly nailed his colours to the mast. Palin is pro guns, pro death penalty and 'pro life'. Despite his calls for change, no one can now be in any doubt as to what kind of change McCain is likely to support. A McCain presidency would certainly usher in an even more conservative regime with stronger ties to the religious right. 'Pro life' is of course a euphemism for 'anti abortion'. These platforms seem to present an anomaly but are of course cornerstones of religious conservatism. If you are 'pro life', how can you support the death penalty or less control over gun lovers? How can 'pro life' campaigners justify attacks or even assassination of medical staff at abortion clinics? Exponents such as Palin would probably direct us to the good book for answers; all life is sacred yet the 'eye for an eye' principle still prevails.

The outcome of policies like these have obvious outcomes; unwanted children are brought into the world courtesy of pro life policies, only to suffer abusive, deprived childhoods. They progress to delinquent teen years and avail themselves of firearms thanks to pro gun policies, only to find themselves on death row facing the death penalty. The pro lifers can then be satisfied that justice has been done and that God's will has prevailed.

Palin's description of herself as 'a pit bull with lipstick' needs to be taken more seriously than she perhaps intended.

Olympic porn

dancers perform at the women's beach volleyball gold medal match

Just what is the fascination with athletes in skimpy costumes, posing nude for magazines etc. etc. all about? There are surely much more explicit pornographic images all over the internet. Just why are pictures like these so popular? It's about the context of course. We somehow associate the Olympics with ideals of 'athletic purity'. Seeing semi dressed or nude athletes is all the more titillating because it seems at odds with what the games are supposed to be all about. The nature of the games have definitely changed, women's beach volleyball being the prime example. At one time, any involvement with professional sport meant instant ineligiblity for the Olympics. Women's beach volleyball, with it's skimpy bikinis, rock music between points and sexy dancers is about as commercial as sport can be. After all; who really watches it for the sport?

The average man must see thousands of naked women in any given year, either in pictures or in the flesh, yet he is physically incapable of ignoring the possibility of seeing more. Many spend almost every spare moment persuing tits and ass and never seem to be able to get enough.

Testosterone is a highly potent chemical, and driven by this force men will completely irrational things. Many women understand this and have turned putting it to their advantage into lucrative careers. Most of us are not complaining.

May the force be with you...

Restoring Olympic Traditions

Posing nude for the cameras is a trend gaining increasing popularity with athletes. Four German Olympic sportswomen: sailor Petra Niemann, hockey striker Katharina Scholz, canoeist Nicole Reinhardt and judo fighter Romy Tarangul have posed for German Playboy, joining a host of other stars like Amanda Beard using nudity in the name of a cause. British triple jumper Phillips Idowu , British cyclist Rebecca Romero and Scottish swimmer Gregor Tait have also bared all for an advertising promotion. Why shouldn’t they? Their bodies are beautiful and judging by public reaction the majority aren’t complaining. If the Olympic movement can turn it’s back on it’s purist, amateur tradition and go all out for big bucks, why can’t athletes flaunt their sexuality?

Why not then take the whole thing a step further and revive the ancient tradition of staging the entire Olympic games nude? In the ancient Olympics, of course only men competed, but surely that rule could also be relaxed. Nude Olympics would boost television ratings into the squillions and arguments over discrimination with beach volleyball uniforms would be put to bed forever.

In ancient times, the ideal for male athletes was the possession of a small, uncircumcised penis. Circumcised athletes tried to conform to the fashion using the painful procedure of epispasm to restore the foreskin. If this ancient Olympic tradition was restored, this might also be a problem for many male athletes. After all, who wants an unfashionable penis? Circumcision features in this list of the top 10 bizarre surgical procedures.

Debate still rages over the benefits or otherwise of this form of mutilation. Dr Karl Kruszelnicki commented that saying a circumcised penis functioned better was akin to saying an eye functions better without an eyelid. Whatever the health benefits of genital mutilation, one could certainly object on aesthetic grounds.

The Door in the Floor

In this excerpt from the movie ‘The Door in the Floor’, Mimi Rogers who plays an artist’s model poses nude for Jeff Bridges, a sculptor. What is interesting about this scene is the completely impersonal relationship between the two people. Usually nudity implies some kind of intimacy in a relationship, but quite the opposite is the case here. This is as it should be between an artist and model where the pursuit is beauty in art rather than sexuality, although it’s hard to deny that some sexual element always exists. The very fact that the relationship between the two is so detached and impersonal serves to increase the sexual tension. The slight look of pained embarrassment on Roger’s face as she disrobes further increases the tension.

The fact that Rogers is not a young woman but still manages to be very sexy and the way the artist manipulates the platform to position her, treating her very much like an object is also interesting. In a way it serves as a metaphor for the relationship between all men and women; the male active and the female passive and devoid of personality. Judging by the number of women who eagerly pose for the camera, women enjoy this kind of attention and find it flattering. This only perpetuates inequality.