All Hail the Great Chocolate Phallus: the Ultimate Diet Aid

This ad for Boost chocolate bars is one of the most bizarre sights I have beheld in some time.  Are these nubile gals and muscle bound guys worshipping some great chocolate phallus?  The object in question might just as easily be interpreted as a giant turd.  The fawning, adoring looks on their faces as they stroke the firm brown shaft is so comical; I almost lost control of my car more than once while driving past a billboard bearing this image.

You can keep diet pills and laxatives.  Seeing this image for any length of time would have to be the ultimate diet aid.  It will be a long time before I even look at a chocolate bar again, let alone eat one.

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The Kinky Side of Mad Men

As the story unfolds in the hit drama Mad Men, we begin to notice that Don Draper has something of a kinky side, even if this is only hinted at.  In one episode in series 2, Don and Betty stay in a hotel and Betty dresses in sexy black lingerie prior to making out.  Betty Draper is completely vanilla; wearing black undies and suspenders is as kinky as she gets.  Despite Betty's attempt to please her husband and perhaps do something to save their ailing marriage, Don can't rise to the occasion and the lovemaking is a flop.  Perhaps this explains Don's philandering; Betty, despite being an undeniably hot package is tragically straight and can never satisfy Don's rather more adventurous sexuality.

In season 3 episode 1, Don allows himself to be seduced by an air stewardess.  The girl is a bit of an air head and Don assumes a false identity to ensure discretion.  After she undresses she says "Your turn."  Don replies: "Not yet." Don is enjoying the power relationship; admiring her nudity while remaining clothed and in control.  Evidently, Don Draper enjoys playing the dom.  In keeping with Mad Men's sophistication and style, the sex which takes place after the pictured scene is left to the viewer's imagination, but we can safely surmise that a good old fashioned spanking is in order before cutting the young lady loose.

In season 4, episode one, the now single Don Draper has been engaging the services of a call girl.  During sex he asks her to slap him.  "I know what you want" she says.  "Harder..." is his reply.  Don's masochism is typical of many who are in positions of leadership and control in their careers.  Being constantly in control is tiring; assuming a passive and submissive role in a sexual relationship becomes a titillating inversion.The masochism is not so much about enjoying pain but of the gratification that comes with humiliation and submission.

Many take these fetishes to extremes and can't enjoy sex at all unless there is at least some sado-masochistic element involved.  However, I doubt we'll see Don Draper dressing up in diapers any time soon; that look just isn't consistent with the Mad Men style.  Not even Don Draper could carry that one off.  As far as sadomasochism goes, it would seem Don is one of those rare creatures who swings both ways.  Which direction he favours most remains to be seen.

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Burka Banned, Why Not Nun's Habits?

An armed robbery allegedly carried out by a man wearing a burka has sparked a row in Australia on whether the full-face Islamic veil should be banned. Several European countries have also debated banning the veil, notably France and more recently, Belgium.
Source: BBC News

As this debate escalates, I have to wonder if anyone has noticed that a Muslim woman wearing a veil is not so different in appearance to a nun habit? A full burka may hide a little more but apart from covering the face a nun's habit is essentially the same garment. I can remember the first time I saw women wearing full burkas and finding it a little confronting. We are supposed to be a tolerant and accepting society and feeling like this soon pass. If the current bans are based on security concerns; terrorists may wear burkas but why could they not just as easily dress as nuns to the same effect? I can't remember hearing anyone calling for bans on the wearing of nun's habits. By the same token; brides also wear veils; perhaps bridal veils should also be banned?


I also have to wonder whether Sarkosy is aware of the irony of a ban on women covering up too much when his own wife, Carla Bruni has been guilty on several occasions of not covering up enough.
Isn't there enough ill feeling between East and West already? Security may give authorities excuses to restrict a great many things but can't we at least retain the freedom to decide what we wear?

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Blogging: the poison pen

While discussing internet trends, a work colleague said: “have you seen all these blogs; they can say just anything! It’s terrible!” I of course admitted that I too was a blogger, and that I too say just about anything. While there may be problems associated with a democratisation of media, the pros far outweigh the cons.

As the established media struggles to deal with the transition to online publication, an ever expanding army of bloggers relentlessly pumps out material that was once the exclusive domain of professional journalists. While some of the material may be erroneous, poorly researched, biased, or plagiarised the same indictment could be levelled at many professionals.

Professional journalists are no strangers to bias and have been often guilty of plagiarism or using dubious or misquoted sources. While professional journalists may have more highly developed writing skills than the average blogger, anyone who has watched the ABC TV’s Media Watch program would have chuckled at many examples of journalistic ineptitude and malpractice. Media Watch has highlighted many examples of items masquerading as news which are little more than blatant advertisements. Journalists are also bound by editorial policy and the interests of advertisers and shareholders.

Bloggers of course are influenced by no such constraints. Are the views of a professional journalist any more valid that those of anyone else? While a certain proportion of the blogosphere may include dubious material, there is undoubtedly a great deal that is worthwhile and interesting. Anyone with a connection can now easily publish their views to a mass audience; this would seem the ultimate expression of free speech.

The final responsibility comes down to the user. A vast increase in information also increases the need to use that information wisely, cross reference and read between the lines. In this respect, nothing has really changed; you can’t believe everything you read.

the netnanny state

The Australian government is planning to introduce internet filtering at the ISP level. This will make the internet up to 87% slower, more expensive, and will accidentally block up to one in 12 legitimate sites, while missing the vast majority of inappropriate content. Anyone who has worked in a government department behind an overly aggressive firewall will know what this is like: incredibly frustrating, inefficient and largely unworkable.

The government will allow users the opportunity to 'opt out' of the scheme, although they obviously won't have the option to opt out of the slow connections and increased cost. The average user has no desire to view offensive material on the net, but then, definitions of what constitutes offensive material varies widely. (e.g. the recent Bill Henson scandal/fiasco). This draconian proposal by the government is an insult to the average user's intelligence.

The government obviously thinks people are incapable of making responsible decisions for themselves. If they did they might offer users the opportunity to opt in to such a scheme, rather than making them opt out. This is a flagrant and ill conceived attack on civil liberties and personal freedom.

Australian internet connections may soon be like Ned Flander's cable TV: 99 channels and all blocked except the weather... okely dokely? NO!

Sign the getup.org petition to Communications Minister Senator Conroy, against "draconian government restrictions on the internet that will hold back the digital economy and miss the vast majority of unwanted content."

Miss Naked Beauty: Judgement of Gok

Miss Naked Beauty purports to promote the cause of ‘real women’. It’s contestants are supposedly vying for the opportunity of being ambassadors for ‘natural beauty’ and the idea that a woman doesn’t have to be young and thin to be beautiful; in the winner’s immortal words (in fact, I think all the girls said it) everyone is beautiful. We are invited to believe that the winners of this reality TV contest will form the grass roots of a movement in defiance of the odious fashion industry, which incessantly promotes impossible ideals of feminine beauty.

Do the women who flock to view this contest, and the millions more who tune in to it on TV really imagine that the fashion industry is going to start showing their latest Spring collection on the Paris catwalks with models that look like the contestants? Miss Naked Beauty is in actual fact just as exploitative as any other beauty contest. The bikini and nude sections which are presented as a means of forcing the contestants to accept their own unadorned ‘natural beauty’ are just an excuse for an exercise in voyeurism.

After the humiliating process of elimination it’s really quite sad (and really quite pathetic) to see the final two contestants putting their hearts and souls into their final speeches. They truly do seem to believe in the cause that has been so shamelessly sold to them by Channel 4 and the incredibly creepy Gok Wan.

Miss Naked Beauty has put a new spin on the reality TV formula but don't be fooled; the bottom line is not social justice but only this: you don't have to be beautiful to be a sex object.

Breasts : does size matter?

It is undeniable that to some men, size really does matter and the bigger the better. The inventor of soft porn, Russ Meyer was evidently obsessed with highly well endowed women such as Helen 'kitten' Natividad and Pandora Peaks. Meyer's trashy 60s movies like UltraVixens made an art form of the over sized booby, and these were all natural; no surgical enhancement here.

Similarly, Howard Hughes also harboured a large breast fetish. He was so obsessed with Jane Russell's breasts he custom designed bras for her. In the 1930s, the torpedo look was in vogue, and Hughes bra was designed to enhance this effect without showing a trace of nipple. It didn't really work and Russell attained the same effect by putting tissue paper inside a standard bra.

These guys are however, the exception rather than the norm. Hughes in particular had a bizarre relationship with his mother and his breast fetish is very likely an expression of this. In my experience, size really doesn't matter to most guys.

Put a pair of boobs in front of a guy and he is biologically incapable of ignoring them, no matter what size, no matter how many he's seen before.